8 of the Best Trade-To-Hook-Up Craigslist Ads

People will do anything to hook up. And apparently, they’ll trade anything for it too, as evidenced by these eight oddball Craigslist ads soliciting hookups.

8. World Series tickets

Play ball! Diehard Philadelphia Phillies fan Susan Finkelstein was so desperate to watch the team in the World Series that she offered a hookup on Craigslist in exchange for tickets.

Finkelstein described herself in the ad as a “gorgeous tall buxom blonde — in desperate need of two World Series Tickets.”

Police found the ad and set up a meeting between her and an undercover officer. At that point Finkelstein allegedly “offered to perform [sensual] acts” for seats to a game. She was arrested and charged with prostitution.

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7. World of Warcraft gold

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Nerd alert! This woman was so desperate for World of Warcraft gold that she offered sex in exchange for it.

More specifically, she said that for 5,000 pieces of gold, she would allow the giver to “mount” her. Guess that’s WoW terminology. She said she’d consider group sex or anal, too.

Imposters or jokesters need not apply, however; she clarified that she will be checking “armory profiles” before doing the dirty deed.

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6. A visit with a panda

“I will (I can’t believe I am saying this) give you a handjob, with my hands. Maybe, if you are cute, a BJ. I am serious about this. I really want to see this panda.”

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5. A $600 Meade Telescope

Lots of nerds on this list!

“If you’re an astronomy buff, star gazer, a nerd or you just always wanted one, this is your chance.”

There’s a catch, however.

On Craigslist, there’s always a catch.

This nerd doesn’t want to sell you his telescope, which originally put him out more than $600 upon purchase. He wants to “GIVE it to you”—if you’re disease-free and open-minded and have a picture, “which can be clothed.”

“As I am looking to trade with a female, use your imagination. We can discuss and come to a mutual agreement.”

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4. An Xbox 360

This is one dedicated mother. Giving up, as she described in her Craiglist ad, her “ass-cherry” for an Xbox 360 is a disgusting endeavor in itself, but when a single mother does it for her son it’s just plain sad.

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3. Blowjobs for Obama

In a desperate (crazy) effort to get Republican voters to vote for Obama, a woman put out a Craigslist ad offering blowjobs for Obama votes. Guess she didn’t think this one through… how on earth would she have verified the votes afterward???

Text of the ad:

I realize this is a safe blue state, but in a last ditch effort to spread the good word of Obama and offer up my totally awesome blowjob to anyone (especially Republicans) who vote for Barack Obama for president tomorrow!

My blow job is so good, I could probably get McCain to vote for Obama, assuming it didn’t stop his heart dead cold. Palin too, for that matter because I rock at that as well. And while I can only have a local reach in this effort, it’d be awesome to see if this could spread around the country and have there be lots of blowjobs for Obama. Yes we can! ETA: Wow, this is really popular so far. I’m sorry I won’t be able to get to all the Republicans and undecided voters (I only have so much free time), but keep on with the Democratic spirit guys! ETA: Thanks everyone for the replies! Count 3 of NY’s votes for Obama as my doing. 🙂 As for everyone else who I couldn’t respond to/blow (there were over 100 responses!) I hope you’ll consider some of Obama’s good points as you head into the booths tomorrow.

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2. Potato chips

Talk about a good lay.

Oklahoma woman Lahoma Sue Smith was arrested for a Craigslist ad where she offered to be paid for her ‘services’ with a box of Frito Lays. Yes, she was arrested.

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1. A chance to do a nude, post-masturbatory Godzilla impression and all the artificial crab you can carry

You read that right.

Want age 25-70 guy to come over and jo [jerk off] in my model train room. Mutual touching and stuff but nothing more than that… I’m not gay, it’s all HO scale then after you finish you can stomp around and kick the trains and buildings like a monster (dont break they are my sons) we can do this until 4 am or until we get tired. Also I have lots of imitation crab meat in my freezer that I need to get rid of so you can have a bunch when you leave. It’s all perfectly good we just got too much!!!!

Okaaaaay.

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