Sometimes people take what you say too literally. And we don’t mean “literally” in the way that society is now working the word into every other sentence, but literally in the sense that you get what you ask for. That’s exactly what these people received and these should be cautionary tales to the rest of us!
Make This Taste Like Satan’s Breath
In every group of friends, there’s that person who goes over the top and doesn’t stop talking about how they don’t understand the idea that not everyone likes spice.
This order is exactly what this friend deserves. It only takes one experience when you feel like your mouth is burning in the pit of hell to start rethinking how much you actually like spice. When is the moment for this person? Soon….
“I’m Fine With Nothing, Thanks”
There’s nothing that makes you want to evict someone from your life more than when they say they want “nothing” for dessert. It’s not acceptable and should be punishable by law.
The fact that no one has come up with a dessert that dawns the “nothing” name is beyond me. It’s marketing brilliance, and it’ll drive up profits for the business which is always a bonus.
Another Loss In The Parents Vs. Technology War
This is just another win for technology over their number one victim, overconfident parents. Most of them will act like they’re the next Steve Jobs but can’t navigate their way out of the “Lock Screen” of an iPhone.
Even more common is when autocorrect dictates their entire conversation, and you have just to interpret what you think they mean. It happened all too often and backfired here.
You Get What You Wish For
This is what happens when you pray to the Snapchat Gods but aren’t specific. They delivered on your wish, Joshua, and beggars can’t be choosers.
Rumor has it that if you take your coat off in -10 weather and stay outside long enough, you start feeling warm. Oh, that’s the first sign of hypothermia? Nevermind Josh, stay in your car.
“Make Me Look Like Him”
Honestly, this is a public service announcement to anyone who brings in a picture of a celebrity to their hairdresser and thinks they’ll end up looking like them — you won’t.
Behind every red carpet look that Beyonce has is a team of experts, not a hungover amateur hair stylist that works at Super Cuts.
No, It’ll Be FIne — I’ll Just Drive Slow
Being stubborn is a bit of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you get what you want a lot because people usually don’t like confrontation, on the other, when you fail it’s ALL on you.
This guy figured his driving was good enough to put that bucket of paint in the back of his truck with no lid, and well, you see the result.
What Type Of Pokemon Is This?
Girls are willing to look like funnel clouds if it means that they’ll get rid of that pimple on their left cheek that no one sees.
I guess if it’s between looking like you’re about to ravage a small city or just have cucumbers on your eyeballs, I’ll take the natural disaster for 100, Alex.
Said One Thing, Did Another
If you have to make this type of a jar, it’s inevitable that you’re going to do the exact opposite of what you want. This is not a deterrent and never will be.
If you really wanted to stop hooking up with your ex, you should probably stop Snapchatting him at two in the morning with the dog filter on asking, “U UP?” That’s a good start.
When You Ask Your Teacher For A Pen…
It’s really hard to understand how some students are so unprepared that they don’t bring pens to a CLASSROOM.
Jacob, once again, came to class without any writing utensils and had to ask his teacher for one. He gave him this feather which is generous because he should’ve had to write with some ink and his elbows.
Beauty Is In The Eye Of The, Uh, Beholder?
This is what happens when you want to look like Alicia Keys at the Grammys on a budget of $14.
It should be common knowledge at this point that any dress that claims to be Michael Kors but is made in China is probably not Michael Kors. But, don’t worry Tayland, prom is overrated anyways.
Good To The Last Drop
Is there anything worse you can do then leave someone without toilet paper? It’s important not to be wasteful and get out as much toilet paper as you can, but this might be pushing the limit.
This is the problem when you start a prank war with your siblings as this guy did. You begin to wander into some unchartered and sacred territory, and it’s potentially dangerous.
Living Her Best Life
When you’re at the age where nothing matters anymore, this is entirely acceptable. While you might not be running a marathon anytime soon, you sure are enjoying the gym more than anyone else.
Life is about doing what you want, and this grandma is getting precisely what she wished for. Does it still count as going to the gym when you go there to have a martini? We wonder if she’s just there to check people out.
Not Living Her Best Life
This is why you should never go to an amusement park with people who are more adventurous than you. Whether you like it or not, they’ll end up convincing you to go on a ride by completely playing down its level of horror.
This little girl is finding out in real time that this was a big mistake. If there’s ever been a face that screams “I screwed up big time” it’s this little girl’s.
That’s Not Going To Buy That Diamond Bracelet She Wanted
Wouldn’t it be amazing if becoming rich was as easy as this? Unfortunately for this girl, she’s getting exactly what she wanted.
Her wording cost her about $1 million. If she would’ve said “wealthy” or “financially stable” she would be cruising the Bahamas right now. Instead, she’s got the same old boyfriend, just with a new name tag.
So In Other Words…
You know the saying, “When one door closes, another one opens?” Well, this is that poetic saying in reality.
When one door closes, you’re actually just stuck in a small bathroom that has the smell of a sewage system. That bathroom also doesn’t have any other doors, so you’re stuck living in your own hell. Don’t take my word for it, just look at the picture.
That’s One Way To Break In The New Diggs
Just because you’re driving a nice car doesn’t mean you’re invincible. It seems that people who drive expensive cars forget that the laws of nature still apply and end up making stupid mistakes.
Fresh cement is fresh cement whether you’re in your grandparent’s 1904 Ford wagon, or this sports car. In this case, justice is served.
Tinder Vs Reality
This is very relatable if you think about it in terms of dating apps like Tinder. Every time you go on a date it’s awkward, but it’s even more awkward when they look like Carrie Underwood in their pictures, but end up resembling Britney Spears circa 2008 in real life.
This is the problem with online shopping. You have to put way too much faith that the person selling you the shoes is truthful, which in this case, they clearly weren’t.
When You Really Weren’t Prepared For Parent Life
Parenting is a 24/7 job and it looks like it’s getting the best of this dad. Many of us love the idea of being a parent, but when it actually comes down to it we can’t handle it.
Sleep doesn’t exist the first few months, so anytime you can get some shut-eye it’s a luxury. This dad is prepared for every case scenario that might be thrown his way while he’s fantasizing about the single life.
Spray Tans Only Help To Expose Your Mental Breakdowns
Note to self: Do NOT get a spray tan anytime during finals week. This is a classic rebellion story if I’ve ever seen one.
It’s a narrative that’s all too familiar to many of us, it’s about a teen that gets told not to do something but the then proceeds to do just the opposite. She wasn’t sad about anything, she just wanted to prove a point that we’re all struggling to figure out.
Can’t Handle The Heat, Get Out Of The Kitchen
This is why there should be a law against cooking your own pizza past midnight. No one should be allowed to do it. I don’t care if THE Papa John wants to do it, someone needs to tie his hands.
This is what happens. One second you want an extra crispy crust, the next you’re asleep and wake up to something that looks like it’s hardened lava. Raccoons would say “no thanks” to this pizza.