These days it seems like every time you venture down the road there’s a new snappy church sign find. Most times these signs are meant to be hilarious and they even compete with one another to see who can make the world at large laugh (or perhaps can gain more parishioners). At this point, there could be a separate award show specifically for funny church signs. Check out this list of hilarious church signs, and remember most of them are just about the laughs!
A Titan Of An Insult
This sign took a dig at the architects who made the Titanic. While (as far as we know) the Ark didn’t get clipped by a giant glacier, the sign still makes a funny joke about the amateur carpenter Noah taking up the huge task of making a massive Ark. The overall message of this sign is to let you know that God’s work is better than regular human work.
The sign is more so intended to get those who drive by that don’t go to church to try and come to church. It plants a seed in their head so that hopefully over time when they see man-made things not working they can turn to God.
Warning: Fire And Brimstone Ahead
For the Heaven seekers who don’t abide by the Lord, this sign is for you. The idea behind this one is poking fun Hell is said to be covered in flames and one of the main fire safety things you are taught is that that if you that if you catch flame you are trained to stop, drop and roll. Sadly, for you, it won’t work in this eternal flame.
Basically, the sign is attempting to lure you to church by telling you that if you don’t attend church you are going to have to suck up the debt of being in flames forever. The implied message is that church is the answer and will always be the answer. Next time you think about doing something you are not supposed to, remember you cannot drop and roll!
Dogs: Too Pure For This World
For all of those who love their dog, this one is for you. Everyone knows that dogs love you unconditionally no matter what you do or who you are. Every day that you come home they are there to greet you with a wag of their tail. If you are a dog person, this hits close to home for you. Because all you really want is for your dog to love you as much as you love them.
Basically, this sign is saying that you are the perfect person in the eyes of your dog, so you should actually aspire to be as good as they think you are by regularly attending church. This is a great way to get those animal lovers to church.
Appealing To The Hipsters
Hipster Jesus is a meme that refers to funny images of a hipster glasses-wearing version of Jesus Christ. This church, Concordia Lutheran, must be pretty hip itself to be up on memes. There are even websites dedicated to Hipster Jesus, with articles like “Here are 25 times Jesus was a total hipster.”
One thing we’re not sure of is whether most hipsters are early risers. They can always attend the 7:00 PM service if they prefer to sleep in.
WWSD: What Would Santa Do?
What does the church have against good ole Saint Nick? Why are they throwing dirt on his name like he doesn’t travel around the world in one night bringing children the gift of Christmas joy? It seems like they are a smidge bit of jealous when it comes to Santa Claus. Their point with this one was probably that too many people get caught up in Christmas for the wrong reasons. It isn’t solely about getting gifts, it is about something much bigger.
This church is trying to draw attention away from the commercialization of the season and bring it back to what they find to be the true reason: the birth of Jesus Christ. The subtle, yet harsh sign carries a lot of weight but is still light-hearted.
Satan’s Strong Opinions
Does this church actually have this kind of sense of humor? Even though the church people might definitely feel that way, it seems like a pretty risky joke for a church anyway. We think it might even be more likely that this is actually a prank and we could guess it was performed by a group of kids.
The sign probably had something more uplifting on it at the start but one night late some teenagers probably thought it would be hilarious if they changed the sign up really quick. We’ve got to admit, even if the sign is a joke, it’s pretty funny. We bet even the church members themselves had a chuckle.
Salacious Church Signage
We get it, Sunday morning has come and you are you are feeling a tad on the lethargic side, to put it mildly. Too beat to get out of bed and it is approaching time for you to get dressed and begin heading to the House of the Lord. You want to, but the bed is sucking you in like a vacuum. What do you do? You shout “Oh God.”
Or… perhaps this sign is insinuating saying that phrase in a far more salacious context, which is pretty risqué as far as church signs go! This church sounds like it might be a pretty fun place to go worship.
Growing Spiritual Fruit
We think most churches would tell you that the Lord accepts everybody who is for him. Some other common tenets would probably be to live righteously and do what is just. This church seems to be calling attention to those who claim to be extremely religious, however on the spiritual front might not exactly be doing what the Lord intended. For instance, those in society who might ostracize others based on their race, ethnicity, or what country they were born in was probably not what God intended.
Take for instance the scripture from Leviticus, “When the alien resides with you in your land, you shall not oppress the alien. The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.” Really makes you think, doesn’t it?
Whose Wife Did This?
If you have a wife or even a girlfriend you may relate to this funny sign a bit more. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that there are times when you look at your significant other sideways because of the things he or she says or does. This humorous sign is poking fun at issues that can crop up in any marriage.
If one partner looks at the other thinking they are a poor decision maker, you can turn that right back around and look at their chosen partner. A pretty hilarious sign, indeed! It just seems like everyone has jokes these days and men: you were in the crosshairs for this one.
Points For Creativity
This sign is definitely the one to take the cake for cleverness. Did the church go out and hire a personal wordsmith to be the creator of their signs? We are going to go out on a limb and say no, as churches don’t typically have funds to spend on frivolous expenses such as that. However, it’s definitely for sure that churches are going the extra mile to get more attention these days.
This sign is also a genius way to bring more first-time visitors to the church when they drive by and see this. It could just persuade people to go to church anywhere, or back to where they originally attended. This sign also gives off the vibe that the church is fairly modernized and in tune with today’s society.
That Church Cray?
Do you ball so hard that the church wants to fine you? First, they have to find you. And when they do you will see that life is cray-cray and church is the way-way. This sign is definitely a cute play on words from the popular Jay Z and Kanye West song.
Maybe it was intended to target more of the younger audiences who might see that sign and start to think that church is the way to go. Using music to target different audiences is definitely a fantastic way to stir up new people for the congregation. What a novel and cray-cray idea.
Voldemort Versus Satan
Alright, so whoever created this sign is a definite “Potterhead”. Fans of Harry Potter come in all different shapes, sizes, and even ages, although this one might be targeting the younger audiences, as well. If you count yourself a fan of the series, you know that Voldemort was a horrifying villain so gnarly, you were not even allowed to say his name. He was one bad son of a gun with no nose, yikes!
However, this church wants to make it clear that he has nothing on the original villain. This might be a little bit a fun based scare tactic to try and lure in souls who they think need the Lord. It’s also kind of interesting because some Christian churches have even tried to claim that the Harry Potter series is evil because of its inclusion of magic. Clearly, this church is not on board with that idea!
Avoiding Bad Weather At All Costs
If you strongly dislike cold weather like we do, then this sign is for you! If you have ever had to work outside in the cold, or changed a sign you know it can be a tedious process. This is not at all remedies by having to do in cold weather when your hands are nearly frozen. Of course, this is merely taking the sign in the literal context.
But who wants to stand around in the cold and argue semantics, the church is saying come inside and listen to our message! This is another clever one to get people to come inside for the service.
Threats From Above
This sign is a pretty hilarious, yet imaginary take on what God is thinking about people constantly saying his name in vain. How often do you hear people saying “Oh, God!” or “Oh my God!” According to the Bible, this is not acceptable talk.
In this sign, the church has God threatening people with longer time in traffic if they don’t stop using his name in a bad context. Everyone knows that for modern humans, traffic is pretty much the bane of our existence. We think people would definitely stop using God’s name in vain if it meant shortened traffic times, don’t you?!
Avoiding Temptation 101
This cute church sign is yet another example of a churches creativity. Forbidden fruit alludes to temptation which can come in many different shapes and sizes. This sign tells you that if you embrace forbidden fruit you will get in a “jam” meaning a bad situation. Of course, it’s also a play on words because literal fruit can be turned into jam.
Whatever church came up with this sign seems like it would be a pretty down to earth and fun place to worship. It’s also definitely a classic sign that could be used for many years without ever going out of style like some of the more recent signs that seek to appeal only to modern sensibilities!
Who Wants A Pet T-Rex?
Alright, so here is yet another pretty cute church sign that we can’t help but think was inspired by someone’s kid. This sign also seems to be reminding us to take heed that history can repeat itself. This is important so that we do not let yesterday’s evils return to today.
Of course, this sign had to poke fun at the idea of history repeating itself by insinuating that if things happen again then so will dinosaurs. Who wouldn’t want a pet dinosaur? It’s basically the dream of every little boy across the world. This is another church that seems like it would pretty fun to actually attend!
Get Rid Of Those Vegas Sins
The famous saying, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” is A-Okay with this church! We all know that some pretty wild things can happen out in Sin City, which we would not want people back home to find out or know about. For some people, after you return home from a good time out in Vegas, whatever you did just weighs heavy on your conscience and makes you feel empty inside.
This church is letting you know, that no matter what temptations you might have succumbed to, you can still be forgiven. The church probably hopes to entice people to come by promising that your conscience will be alleviated if you bring yourself to service on Sunday.
Make It Rain
If you have ever lived through any kind of flood, then this sign probably speaks to you on a spiritual level. In many parts of the country, before a flood the area might have faced a drought leaving many to want and even pray for rain. However, once those floodgates open, it can seem like it will never stop.
This sign is poking fun at just that. While the “rain man” might not be real it sometimes seems like prayer can provide the rain you need. Which is why this church, is basically saying, alright we’ve had enough rain and no more praying is needed at this point.
The Spiritual Wal-Mart
Wal-Mart is known for its super savings and low prices. From clothes to a bag of bananas, Wal-Mart is your go to for buying on a budget. This church is making a joke by saying in the same way that the store can save you money, they can help save your soul.
Seeing as Wal-Mart sells pretty much everything under the sun and you can even fill up a tank of gas at their stores, we wouldn’t be surprised to see them get into the church business. They have already made it clear that they want to be associated with Christian values, so perhaps we will see an attached church at Wal-Mart superstores next!
Trade Mosquitoes For Unicorns
In the story of Noah’s Ark in the Bible, Noah took two of every animal on his ark so they could reproduce and keep the species alive. Two pigs, two dogs, two elephants, two mosquitoes, and so on. Did Noah really have to save the mosquitoes? Couldn’t he have just left those pesky little critters out?
If you live in a hot climate, you definitely know the pain of living throughout summers constantly being tortured by the little buggers. In some parts of the world, they can even spread disease like Malaria and the Zika Virus. Ugh, we could definitely live without mosquitoes! We wonder what other kinds of species Noah might’ve left out of the ark. Unicorns perhaps?!
The Details Are Inside
It must have been a hot summer day for the groundskeeper to works at this church. For how often he is expected to change the sign, it’s not worth it for him to have to keep weathering the heat just to lure people inside. So this groundskeeper thought of the next best thing.
He wrote, “Sin bad, Jesus Good, Details Inside.” The simple statement can’t possibly be misunderstood by passersby. Anyone who is intrigued by the brevity of this sign can go inside the church to get more details on why Jesus is good and what constitutes a sin.
When There’s No Wifi
The Newborn Community Church knows that people are very attached to their phones these days. People are primarily on their phone accessing something that requires connection to the Internet, which causes most people to flock to wherever there is free wifi when they’re not home.
But the Newborn Community Church knows that people seek the most seamless wireless connections around. But what better wireless connection is there other than the one between you and God? No wires or payments are needed to pray to God and this church is trying to get its parishioners to understand that.
What’s The Point?
This church likened a God-less life to an unsharpened pencil, in that both have no point (the pencil in the literal sense). A lot of churches believe that God is the ultimate overseer of life on Earth and that if you don’t have faith in him, then your life is either pointless or meaningless.
For many avid churchgoers, this may be true, as their faith in God is what gives them the motivation to live through their everyday lives. Perhaps this church is trying to get people to realize that if you feel like your life has no purpose, then to make that purpose to be a follower in Christ.
Coke And The Book Of Life
By now, everyone has seen those Coca Cola bottles that have names on them. Coca Cola’s marketing strategy to create personalized bottles of cokes for every name under the sun has excited many consumers to purchase the beverage. But the Assembly of God church notes that while people are finding their names on bottles of Coke, will they still be able to find their name in the Book of Life?
The Book of Life in Christianity and Judaism is a book in which God has recorded the names of everyone that is destined for Heaven. Doesn’t everyone who believes in God hope their names are in it?
We May Not Have Ice Cream, But…
The Westside Baptist church must have a pretty clever groundskeeper or another employee who thought of this clever sign. A lot of people head to Dairy Queen for an ice cream sundae and while the Westside Baptist church doesn’t offer ice cream, they still offer something of a similar variety.
Playing on the word “sundae,” this church instead offers great “Sundays,” since Sunday is usually the day that people flock to church. This sign was sure to get a chuckle from church parishioners and passers-by alike. Besides, after your great Sunday, you could still go to Dairy Queen for an actual sundae!
In the middle of summer, lifeguard jobs are easy to come by. But this church brings up the fact that they know a lifeguard who can do more than save you from drowning, but he can even walk on water! Of course, they may have been referring to Jesus, who was given the power to walk on water by the will of God.
Coincidentally, the term “lifeguard” could have a double meaning in this case. Not only would Jesus be a great lifeguard in the literal sense, but people who believe in the power of God and Jesus will thus have their lives guarded by sheer faith!
When It’s Halloween, Just Remember…
While most kids are excited to dress up as their favorite ghouls, goblins, princesses, and superheroes, there is one important lesson that the Cranberry Church wants its parishioners to keep in mind during the Halloween season: “Heaven is No Trick, Hell is No Treat.” When kids yell “Trick or Treat” to their neighbors in exchange for candy, their parents will be remembering that they need to keep their kiddos in God’s good graces.
After all, Heaven is quite a real place and although there is a lot of talk about it but no concrete proof, faith and good will should get you there. But multiple bad moves and no redemption can land you in Hell.
When Your Legs Start To Hurt
The Trinity Baptist Church must have an expert on wordplay on their staff. They wrote, “When life gives you more than you can stand… Kneel,” which is both awesome and clever advice on the part of the church. What they mean to say is that when life keeps trying you and you just can’t “stand” it anymore, there is no better solution than to pray it out.
Of course, the most common and respectful position for prayer in most religions is kneeling, which is what makes the sign so clever. So whenever you feel like you’ve had enough, maybe a prayer or two will help you!
Feel guilty about missing church? One sign coming up will really get to you.
At Least They’re Honest
The Providence Presbyterian Church keeps it real, as evidenced by this funny sign. They write their church is generally sweet, but there are a few nuts who frequent the establishment. There are some churchgoers who are a little overzealous with their faith and how they share that with the world, but this church is one that doesn’t judge.
Despite the fact that they’re jokingly labeled “nuts,” at least they’re still going to church! But anyone who loves fudge just might love going to church and that is exactly what this church is probably trying to get at.
We Are Still Open
A lot of people who were raised in a certain religion but aren’t necessarily religious still make an effort to go to church—but only on the occasions when it counts, apparently. A lot of average people are notorious for only going to church on the “important days,” meaning Christmas and Easter.
While those are arguably the most important days of the year—Jesus’ birthday and his resurrection—there are still plenty of other reasons and a whole 363 other days that someone can go to church. This Roman Catholic Church called St. Joseph the Worker is here to remind you of that.
Your Battle With God
The Plank Road Baptist Church knows that a lot of people go through a divorce. With divorce between two people who share kids, things can get pretty messy as the parents fight over custody of their children. Well, this church played on that idea by saying that God wants full custody, not just weekend visits.
Plank Road Baptist Church knows that a lot of people just go to church on the weekends because they feel like they should while living an otherwise sacrilegious life the rest of the week. This church wants you to know that God would appreciate if you had faith every day, instead of just Sunday.
There Might Be Traffic
This clever sign plays on the phrases “highway to hell” and “stairway to heaven.” Highways and freeways are always laden with vehicular traffic and anyone who is about to travel on one can expect to be sitting in a jam. This church warns that if you don’t want to be sitting in traffic (presumably on your way to Hell), then perhaps you should come inside and seek the stairway to Heaven.
After all, a lot of people are too lazy to take the stairs anyway, which is why there would presumably be less traffic on the way. Which route would you rather take?
A PSA From Jesus?
Texting and driving is not only illegal, but it is also incredibly dangerous. Many people have lost their lives because they were on their phones while at the wheel, unfortunately. Whoever wrote this church’s sign warns against the dangers of texting and driving in a clever way. While they urge you to honk for your love of Jesus (prompting acknowledgment of him), they go a step further by saying you can meet him if you text while driving.
Just how exactly would that happen though? Well, if you’re not so lucky, texting and driving might not end well for you and you might meet Jesus a little sooner than you had hoped.
Noah Was A Brave Man
Yet another funny church sign with a clever reference to Noah’s Ark. Noah did, after all, invite two of every single creature that God created and we suppose that also includes creepy crawlies like termites! This school thought about the real questions surrounding the story of Noah’s ark because after all, he did sail in a wooden boat and that is just a feast for a couple of termites!
We can’t imagine that this sign didn’t get any laughs. It only goes to show that even the most religious people can have a sense of humor about their faith.
God, Show Me A Sign
In times of great desperation, a lot of people turn to God, hoping that he would send them some sort of sign that points to the answers that will solve all their problems. Well, a lot of churches believe that any problem can be solved simply by going to church!
The Walker’s Chapel United Methodist Church probably believed that no one should really need a sign to want to go to church, but for the people who really did need one, their literal sign was right there! What better way to keep them coming!
Do Not Hide If It Is Jesus You Seek
Anyone who regularly goes to church knows that Jesus will come back one day to save those who have faith in him. The folks at the Friendship Church of Christ are well aware and they couldn’t be more prepared for his arrival! They even relayed a message from him that reads, “Ready or not, here I come,” which is the infamous phrase that school children yell when they are “it” in a game of tag.
But Jesus will come and save when you least expect it and this church is just trying to remind you! So for anyone who is getting ready for that, you better be more prepared for him!
It’s Pretty Hot Down There, Not Gonna Lie
The DaySpring Assembly of God warns that Hell is nothing compared to the rising temperatures that summer brings. A lot of people complain about how hot the weather is becoming, but there are places they can be that are much worse.
Apparently, 100 degrees is nothing compared to how hot the depths of Hell are, so why would you want to find yourself there? This church is probably encouraging people to stop whining about the weather, come inside to avoid it, and pray to avoid ending up in Hell because no one wants to end up there.
There’s No Better Time Than Now!
The Providence Baptist Church realizes that not everyone goes to church as often as they think they should be. Some people avoid church their whole lives, only to end up there at the end of it all. But would you want to wait until you’re dead to go to church? We didn’t think so.
This church doesn’t want your only time going to church to be when you’re dead in a coffin, so you should probably go every once and a while on your own terms before death decides for you. Don’t wait!
Church Parking Only?
How come it always seems like the best, most convenient parking spaces aren’t for the establishments you’re trying to go into? Sometimes those parking spaces are at churches, but the parking is for church-goers only. Well, this Christian Fellowship
Church knows that there are a few rebels who will still park in unauthorized spaces so they decided to usurp the rule breakers in a hilarious way. Instead of saying trespassers will be towed like most parking signs do, this church warns that trespassers will be baptized! If that’s not a funny way to get people inside your church, we don’t know what is!
Just Get To The Point
The Trinity Baptist Church must have caught on to the trend of clever and funny signs. But apparently, they couldn’t be bothered with something eye-catching and witty so they just gave up. Still, they managed to create something humorous! They wrote, “blah blah blah, just come to church.”
The simple statement is arguably hilarious enough to get anyone in there because everyone knows that churches only make funny signs just to make people go to church. This church knows that and they decided to get straight to the point with that idea. We’d be surprised if this didn’t work!
No More Snow!
Praying for snow is something that many people don’t really tend to do, except for maybe kids who like playing in snow. It is said that Jesus is close to children so perhaps their prayers are listened to more firmly.
With a church sign that reads “whoever is praying for snow please stop,” you can guess that city is receiving too much of the white icy stuff. The kids might be enjoying it but the adults who have to drive in it and wipe it off their cars didn’t want any parts of it.
You’re Being Watched…
Well, as the saying goes, God is always watching. He knows all. So this church sign is just a soft reminder that you are being watched. It could also be a subliminal message to try and get you to come to church. Unless you are a saint then whatever God saw you do is most likely going to need to be forgiven.
Whoever came up with this sign did a great job. Business probably went up a certain amount due to some individuals feeling guilty. So if you aren’t being good, hopefully you didn’t drive past this sign.
Some Weather Isn’t For Everybody
At 96 degrees, that could just be a regular day for some cities in certain states. However, we have to look at that temperature from the perspective of a place that doesn’t get that much heat. We say that because if Satan is calling to that church then maybe that town has no idea what 111 degrees feels like.
Complaining about weather that hasn’t even reached the hundreds is surely a cry from people who aren’t used to that kind of heat. Nevertheless, it is still a funny sign that could have anyone laughing if they drove past it.
Moses Could Be Needed Anywhere
Moses famously parted a sea to help his people get across, we all know that. But that power could be useful in contemporary situations everyday. For example, when you are in a rush and need to get to work in the morning and you are making breakfast.
Your bagel is fresh out the toaster but you need to put your favorite cream cheese on it but you know that takes an additional chunk of your time. That power to spread would come in handy in that situation. And as far as traffic goes, parting a highway would be the ultimate use of those powers.
They Have A Pew For You
Life does seem to come at you all at once and that is when it becomes stressful. Another phrase for that is life stinking. This church knows. New Beginnings church understands the struggles of life and they are here for you. Through prayer and fellowship you can depend on them trying to uplift your spirits.
And if that doesn’t help, don’t fret because there is a free spot on their pew involved as well… Just when you thought life was hopeless, the promise of free fellowship and emotional comfort is right in your face. All you have to do is go praise the Lord.
Go Pack Go!
When it’s football season you can bet there are going to be some rabid fans out there! Fans so serious about their team that they have to go out of their way to change a church sign so it can fit their fandom.
Yes, it is true God has no favorites but that doesn’t mean you can and force your agenda on everyone else, sign maker! The Green Bay Packers are a good team and a nice one to be able to call your team but let’s not get carried away here.
Help Make My Dog Proud
In a previous slide, there was a message similar to this one. It was asking that God help you become the person your dog thinks you are. Now, it would appear that previous request has been answered. This sign maker is officially the person his dog wants him to be and what could be more important than that?
Yeah, if you had kids you would need to be a great person for them but letting down your dog is something that no one ever wants to go through. They are there for you no matter what through thick and thin.
This Is Pure Gold
When it rains it pours and that sometimes isn’t a good thing for some communities who aren’t built to handle so much rain (like anywhere in Southern California). This city probably isn’t fond of the rain or at least too much of it because clearly, they need an ark!
But not everyone is Noah and has the time and perseverance to build one of those, or so we thought. If you were in the surrounded area and seen this sign then you know that you were in good hands because they knew “a guy”! Clever play on words there!
Watch What You Tweet
Social media is all the rage today. You are outdated if you don’t use at least one social platform such as Snapchat, Instagram or Twitter. This sign maker more than likely uses Twitter based on this message. You’re supposed to treat others the way you want to be treated but sometimes you might need to tweet others with the same respect.
You could get in trouble for cyberbullying and say things out of context. Always be sure to tweet others as you want others to tweet you. You never know who is reading.
The Church That Doesn’t Judge
The church is thought of to be a place that follows the rules of the Bible strictly and with no questions asked. Rules like we shall not kill and we must obey our mother and father. However, at St. John’s Anglican Church, they don’t mind if you have same-sex relations, it appears.
“Jesus had two dads and he turned out just fine,” is very to the point and it sounds like they are encouraging this type of behavior too. The funny thing about this sign is that it’s the truth as far as biblical stances go. So if you get mad at it, understand the truth first.
Watch Out For Jesus
Of all the things you wouldn’t want Jesus to catch you doing, riding dirty should be at the bottom of the list. Don’t let Jesus catch you lying, don’t let Jesus catch you stealing and don’t let Jesus catch you sinning, in general, should be at the top of your concerns.
Riding dirty should be something you should worry about the cops catching you doing. Jesus probably already knows that you’re riding dirty but as long as you aren’t sinning then you should be fine. With the cops, you won’t be so fine.
Clever With The Words
Here we have a clever play on words with this church sign. Sure, some of you out there may know some people who don’t like the hand they were dealt when they were born and that’s fine. They might wish they were different some days and other days they might just flat out complain.
Well, this church is offering you the chance to be born again (as does every church). So next time one of your pals complains about not liking the skin they’re in, take them to church and they might end up changing their attitude.
The Best Knock Knock Joke
Do you really know Jesus? You may think you do, You may think you are close with him and don’t even go to church that often. There are some people that feel that way whether you want to believe it or not.
But that one time he comes knocking on your door, are you going know it’s him? Apparently, between the two people who made this sign, one of them isn’t that close to the Lord as he or she might have thought. He came knocking and was unrecognized. Don’t let that be you.
Holler If You Need Some Vitamins
Greetings ladies and gentlemen, it is a pleasure to have you at our fine establishment. We imagine that is how the opening monologue started the Sunday after they posted this church sign because there were probably a ton of new visitors! This sign is genius and the wordplay is amazing.
Surely, if it didn’t convince anyone to go to church then it certainly got a laugh out of many of the citizens who drove by it. This needs to be in the hall of fame for church signs. Kudos to whoever thought of this one.
And The Choir Said Amen!
For anyone out there who has tried to bounce a football, you know how challenging it could be (except if you’re Allen Iverson). Attempting to dribble a football is like trying to eat soup with a fork. It can be done, but it is drastically harder. This church sign is probably targeting the male demographics.
They probably crunched the numbers and concluded that the church lacks males. If you are a male who is interested in sports, these words most likely caught your attention. You can’t knock their hustle for coming up with this creative message.
This next church wants you to “drop it like it’s hot.”
Drop It Like It’s Hot
Sinning has never been easier to accomplish in this modern era. People probably sin and don’t even know they did and that’s the harsh reality. Luckily, this church has just the plan for you. Rapper Snoop Dogg made this phrase explode when he released his single “Drop it like it’s Hot” featuring the “Happy” singer, Pharrell Williams.
Now instead of dropping anything like it’s hot at the club, you can drop your sins like it’s hot at your local church. This sounds like a deal no one should pass up because it is so convenient.
The New GPS
Getting lost is the worst, especially if you have somewhere to be. Thankfully, GPS has come a long way and helps millions of people all the time. But no, we aren’t talking about the regular GPS you find on your phone like Google Maps, we are talking about the Lord’s GPS now.
God’s Plan of Salvation is what we mean now. You’ll never be lost again after you follow this new way of getting back on track. It is about time you found your way back to the Lord and this sign is your cue to start now.
We All Say Someday
Someday you’re going to get off your couch and go find a new love after being dumped by your ex. Someday you might win the lottery so you keep buying those tickets. And someday you might go attend church. Someday doesn’t cut it for this church. Sunday is the day you need to be attending church.
McKendree United Methodist Church is encouraging all of the procrastinators out there to make that move and join them for a church service. You can’t make an excuse after seeing this sign either. They got you with this one.
All The Exercise You Need
Who needs a gym when you have the Lord? Scratch off that treadmill run you have planned for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Running from Satan is plenty enough cardio. And by the off chance it isn’t enough, you will always be walking with God.
Those walks can be pretty long at times so be prepared to break a sweat in both of these activities. You’ll never be out of shape again if you follow the instructions from this brilliant sign! Promoting both healthy lives physically and spiritually. That’s something you don’t see every day.