Growing up is one of the worst decisions a person can make. Sure, we don’t necessarily have much of a choice, but it’s hard to appreciate being a child. Things like school, bedtimes, and the rules of our parents really put a damper on things. Then you get older and realize how awesome it was that you could even go to bed at 9 pm in the first place! Plus, free rent. Those were the days.
If you don’t know who the successful one in your group of friends is, this kid makes it painfully obvious, coming up!
The Adult Menu Is A Trap
Eating out with the family was so simple. It was either a hot dog, a grilled cheese, or chicken fingers. Graduating to the adult menu meant things like calamari, artichoke dips, and liver and onions. AND THERE’S NO ICE CREAM AT THE END! Honestly, what’s the point? I’ll take my Happy Meal to go, thanks.
Deciphering Difficult Answers Will Prepare You For Future Relationships
I never knew that all my answers to life’s most difficult questions, like what I wanted to eat, would just be a taste of what I would come to expect later on in life. Anyone with a girlfriend has probably experienced the dreaded “I Don’t Care” answer when deciding what to eat for dinner, so finally, we have our answer. Chicken tenders and french fries. Where has this been all my life?!
Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
Art’s complicated. Just being able to color within the lines isn’t enough in the high-stakes game of children’s art competitions. Riley understood that sometimes the simplest answer is probably the best, and blew away the competition with an abstract look at our society at large by showing us a worm that we never saw in all those Lego sculptures. Thank you, Riley.
When you pay for a private education, make sure your kids are actually sticking to the curriculum.
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
Bear Grylls would be proud. This girl only had a day to put together a captivating science project, and as she sat in her room contemplating what to do, she looked out the window and had a great idea. A quick physics lesson later, and our student had her project. I’m sure her parents helped her type, cut, and glue her project together, but she definitely learned a lesson.
Don’t Try And Combust Combustible Things
This is a lesson that can be learned at any age, but the younger the better. If you see a paint can that’s marked with the combustible sign, don’t swing an ax at it. Best case scenario, nothing happens. Most case scenario… it combusts. It literally told you it would. This guy learned that lesson the hard way and luckily, just got the worst spray tan in human history.
School Is A Money Grab
When you’re a kid, you don’t realize the importance of money, especially when it comes to your education. So when your parents send you to private school, you might not realize it costs a good chunk of dough. Don’t be surprised when your parents are less than thrilled that your assignment for the weekend is to find a rock. This can’t possibly be a 10-step process.
Remember payphones? Well, you kid probably has no idea what those are.
There’s Always A Simple Solution
Remember when mom would tell you to “put a little elbow grease in it,” meaning to just put more effort in it? Ya… you don’t have to do that anymore. Finally, someone has invented the perfect product to make your life easier. If something’s hard, you don’t go and put in even more effort. You go to the store and find the genius who made the saying into a reality.
I Wanna Go Fast
These Fast And The Furious sequels really need to calm down. This kid is clearly a big Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson fan, and isn’t waiting until his 16th birthday to get a taste for speed. This is actually a perfect mod for his skateboard, and should only open the door to one day become a professional street racing mechanic. Dream big young fella.
Respect Your Elders
Pictures like this are the perfect reminder of how far we’ve come as a society. Payphones used to be everywhere, but apparently, kids are so shocked by the sight of them that they have to put it on the Gram. When your kid is blown away because they’ve only seen a payphone in movies, you know you’re getting old and technology is quickly passing us by. Enjoy it while you can!
Always remember where you were when you started a trend, because someone might just steal it and claim it as their own.
Math Is Hard
We never expected to be walking around with calculators in our pockets, nevermind the advanced smartphones we had today, but that doesn’t excuse ignoring the importance of basic math. One of the best lessons I ever learned was how to calculate 10%. Simply move the decimal point over one spot. So if you’re tipping 15%, get to 10, then cut it in half, and add the two together. You’re welcome.
There’s Always That One Successful Friend
A fresh cut can be the difference between Sally accepting your invitation to the Winter Dance or having to spend another night with Nana as she watches yet another Murder Mystery marathon. This guy saw an opportunity and took it, giving his friends the chance to make it in the cut-throat cesspool that is middle school dating. A good barber is hard to find, and once you find one that gets your hair just right, you don’t let go.
He Was Ahead Of His Time
The dab really should be retired at this point. It’s not a dance move, it’s not cool, and it’s a danger to society. It’s incredibly easy to poke someone in the eye with a wayward dab. It’s up to the children to stop this epidemic from spreading, because we’ve already seen the 40+ generations using it to connect to millennials. End the madness.
Staring is rude, and when you lock eyes with someone for a weirdly long amount of time, don’t be surprised if someone ends up shook.
Stand By Your Principles
If you don’t eat the crust, you don’t eat the crust. That belief doesn’t stop just because Big Peanut Butter made a sandwich that’s crust-free. It was never about the crust. It was the idea that someone was trying to put a border on your food, trying to contain it. So throw away the crust, no matter how hard they try and hide it.
You’re Never Too Young To Inspire A Generation
With age comes wisdom, but don’t sell yourself short. A great idea is a great idea, no matter where it comes from. This kid is clearly thinking 12 steps ahead of the rest of us. To anyone who has had to wait around while their partner is out shopping, finding a way to maximize your comfort while maintaining ideal hydration levels is key. This kid is going places. Please take me with you.
Don’t Get Caught Staring
Staring at people is rude, and also a bit creepy. This girl learned this the hard way when she caught the eyes of another passenger on a plane, and proceeded to lock eyes for entirely too long. When she took her eyes off the prize for a brief second, she looked back to a complete nightmare that will stick with her for a lifetime.
You Can Only Get Better With Practice
Without question, one of the top food sources for children is Lego. Every time they make a meal, you can bet a Lego played a part in it. It’s an unofficial food group for the under 3 crowd. Fish are a good source of protein, so that should be the same for sharks, right? The tea was a nice touch. Soon, this child will learn that far too many people don’t even have time for breakfast, so getting the essentials down pat is imperative.
Know How To Give Back
Easter is a really weird holiday. Hiding eggs filled with chocolate for kids to find?Honestly, how did we get here? So make sure to give back to your family by giving them something they can enjoy. Hiding beer is a great alternative, but I wonder how many drinks are just a little too hidden…
All Set For Retirement
People work longer than ever nowadays, and planning for retirement is a real struggle. Saving money so you can just sit around is definitely a goal most of us strive for, but few know how to give up the 9-5 grind. This kid looks like he’s already well on his way to living out all our retirement goals, and for that, I am insanely jealous.
The Importance Of Time Management Skills
Take your kid to work day is an eye-opening event. You get to learn what your parent does when they’re not at home, and get to see the real them. While you know them as Mom or Dad, Shelia or Greg live a very different life away from home. Getting to see what the real world is like at an early age can really make a difference and keep you from going down the wrong path.
Which Path Will You Choose?
Sure, it looks like fun to have a kid and have that opportunity to raise a human into an upstanding member of society, but you know what else looks like a lot of fun? Having money. Kids cost a ton, and they’re not for everyone. So ask yourself what type of person you are, and don’t rush into things too quickly.