As a student, it can feel like the world is caving in on you when you try to balance assignment deadlines, exam schedules, a social life, and naps. Being stressed and anxious becomes very normal everyday feelings that are only cured by three bottles of wine a night.
From pulling all-nighters to sleeping all day to avoid responsibility, it can sometimes be hard to find the humor in things as a college student. Thankfully, there are students out there who naturally make life better and more entertaining. These are the students who sacrifice their integrity for a laugh while others are just unintentionally hilarious the way they maneuver through everyday life.
Coming up, what one student did when his lecture hall ceiling tile fell on him. It’s a bit disappointing.
Honesty Is The Best Hangover Cure
Instead of struggling through your 8 a.m. lecture after a night out and pretending you’re just “tired,” sometimes the best medicine comes in the form of honesty. If you bring a sign outlining your issue of the day your peers and professor will appreciate your transparency and will be more willing to work around your drunkness.
That Escalated Quickly
This is the teacher equivalent to sliding into the DMs. We thought our teachers just hated our chronic forgetfulness of putting the date on our papers—we weren’t aware that it was to actually go on a date. Now we feel bad because we left ALL our teachers hanging with no replies.
Sometimes you just have to hit your teacher with a truth bomb that they may deny, but it doesn’t make the answer wrong. Everything revolves around love whether they want to believe it or not. Putting a red X in the middle of the word isn’t going to change the truth of the answer. This is what happens when you have the Grinch as your teacher.
Do you have damp laundry? Or you just didn’t do it? This student has the new garbage-chic style that we’re all going to be wearing soon.
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with a Twinkie cake. Living as a student away from your parents is the most liberating feeling until you realize you have no money to do anything fun. Many students take naps for lunch they’re so broke. It’s always the thought that counts and twinkies are a pretty darn good second choice.
Some of the kids you meet in college are lucky enough to have loads of money from their parents. It’s hard to watch because you — a student who’s too broke to even eat Kraft Dinner — are struggling with student loans while they’re bringing blocks of cheese as snacks. This is like bringing a Rolls Royce to a Honda Civic convention. Sickening.
Laundry Is Expensive
Doing laundry in between classes and socializing is next to impossible. Timing the load so that you’ll be home right when the dryer stops so that your clothes don’t wrinkle is imperative. Wearing a garbage bag is always a great idea especially if it’s raining. No one wants their clothing ruined from the pesky rain, plus a garbage bag is really in right now.
What’s better than an engineering degree? A psych professor has a hilarious answer just ahead.
The Most Important Meal Of The Day
It’s imperative to your overall collegiate performance that you eat breakfast in the morning. Apparently, people who eat breakfast are more likely to be thinner, have higher energy levels, a better metabolism, and higher sex appeal. Okay, maybe not the last one but the other benefits are very true. This kid is aware that no matter how late he was about to be for class, he wasn’t about to skip the most important meal of the day.
When The Substitute Teacher Walks In
If you had any moral integrity as a kid in high school your heart would sink everytime a substitute teacher would walk in. The moment an unfamiliar face walked into the room it basically turned into a Lord Of The Flies free-for-all as to who can do the most psychological damage to the new teacher.
Having five bouncy balls is way more fun than having an engineering degree. Last time I checked an engineering degree doesn’t get you hours worth of fun in an empty room. An engineering degree doesn’t allow you to play the game “fumble” on an elementary school wall with your friends. Bouncy balls allow for bonding and degrees don’t.
Coming up, a student gets an A on their presentation and they didn’t even need to say anything.
When you’re a student, three-quarters of the time you’re just a shell of a human being. You’re a walking, talking, empty piece of skin that makes a good decision 10% of the time. Being sleep deprived, stressed out and low-energy is just a normal state of mind. If these lotions do what they say they do, we’ll take 10 cases of all three.
Wishing For More Debris
Why is this kid not laying on the ground screaming that “everywhere hurts.” Why is this kid not DEMANDING an ambulance take him out of the classroom because the physical and mental stress the ceiling debris is putting on him? This is his golden ticket to free tuition and he’s blowing it with every second he’s not bawling his eyes out.
Presentation Done Well
Class presentations are really boring unless someone really sucks, or they do something out of the norm. For example, dressing up like a minion while doing a presentation is the first step to getting an A. This is also a great strategy for if you don’t know what you’re talking about because the entire time your voice will be muffled anyways so no one will be able to hear what you’re saying.
Coming up, a Christmas present idea for that teacher who flaunts how smart they are on a regular basis.
Being on time is very important especially if being late means you have to do the walk of shame past your teacher while everyone’s looking at you. This girl found a glitch in the system that allowed her to be present, without actually being present. This girl is living in 2045 when every kid is going to be Facetiming into class whilst laying in bed.
This is brilliant because it plays on an insecurity that every student has when they’re writing a test. Anytime you see someone get up from their desk and finish a test quick your stomach immediately turns and you start asking yourself existential life questions. Am I going to fail this? Is Katherine superhuman? Isn’t it weird that when you clean out a vacuum cleaner you turn into a vacuum cleaner?
What’s Step Two?
If you had to read this over and over again like we did, don’t feel bad. It’s weird teachers like these that make you feel bad about your intelligence. This teacher probably asks the class every morning to give him an insanely hard math problem that anyone else would need a calculator for, but he can do it in his head.
What do you do when that one person in your class who you rely on to give you all the answers drops out?
When someone tells you to count sheep, usually they mean to count while you’re laying in bed. In this case, they mean during lecture because someone brought their lamb to class. This lamb knows you’re not paying attention in class and it’s giving you the evil eye to get you back on track.
“No, Take That Again”
Everyone is all about having the most photogenic student card and graduation pictures, but that doesn’t allow you to be your degenerate self. Caitlin is doing it right by adding some personality and UMPH to the pictures she’s going to have to look at for the rest of her life. She can say she had a double chin, but she ROCKED that double chin.
College In One Text
Sometimes taking really tough classes is worth it if you sit beside your friends, or know there’s a smart person in the class who might give you the answers. Potentially the most uncomforting thing in the world would be texting said a smart person only to find out they’re dropping out. That’s the moment when you have to hit the panic button and abort mission asap.
To The Point
Sometimes the best thing you should do if your about to fail a midterm is to just be honest. In three words this student was able to get their point and desperation across in an effective fashion. This covers all of your bases and there’s no losing by sending this email. First, it could get you some test answers because they feel bad for you, or second, your terrible mark won’t be surprising.
Befriend This Person
It’s people like this who get your Ds brought up to Cs. These are the types of people who literally do the entire group project for you and expect nothing in return. These are the types of people who deserve to be President but settle for Vice President. These are the people Mother Teresa looked at and her jaw hit the ground.