Misplaced flowers, dog messes, a turtle, and torn underwear — sounds like the makings of some great wedding fails to me. There’s a reason that #weddingfails is one of the most entertaining hashtags on social media these days! We just can’t get enough.
Come take a look at some of the most bizarre and outright ridiculous wedding outfits, from the disastrous flower-girl to the ring bearer, that will stand the test of time.
I’m sure I’ve seen these outfits on a show before, but for the life of me, I can’t remember which one. Not that it matters anyway. Nothing can save this utter wedding outfit failure. Though I must admit that the Crayola company would probably be so proud of this.
I’m curious about what wretched movie or cartoon inspired this theme, although it’s clearly something related to winter and the color purple.
When Color Is Just Too Much
These girls remind me of one of those candy necklaces you used to be able to buy at the candy store. Or even a pack of PEZ candy.
Though the flower girl is adorable, I fear the rest of them have made a grievous mistake in their attempt to imitate a watered-down roll of Lifesavers. And what’s up with the orchids? I thought it was a wedding, not a funeral.
If I Only Had a Fire Hydrant
These dresses could actually look good. The thing that ruins them are the women wearing them. It almost seems as if the bride doesn’t have any real friends but felt she needed to have a pic or two taken to make it seem like she has friends.
So she brought some friends. That she just met at someone else’s wedding. They weren’t sure how to pose so they came up with this awful stance.
The Front Lawn
Has anyone seen my flamingos? They’re pink, about five feet tall and normally stay in my front yard. Wait. What’s that you say? My neighbor needed them to fill in as flower girls at a wedding?
All six of them you say? Well yes, I guess it’ll be OK, as long as you return them before sundown. And as long as they can keep the tiaras and get a buffet meal out of the whole thing.
Needs More Color!
I guess this was a really, really happy occasion. Because no one in their right mind would think of wearing so much yellow if they weren’t extremely happy. I know the yellow bus factory where they obviously picked up their outfits were totally thrilled about the whole cheery situation.
I hear the company was about to go bust until a smart employee suggested they go into the wedding dress business.
Avocado for You?
This pic has me completely baffled. The dresses are ugly enough that we don’t really need to talk about them much longer but I simply don’t get the message about avocados.
And why didn’t they get walnuts since that’s what’s being advertised on the sign? Seems to me they’d be a lot cheaper. This makes me think that Starbucks is hosting free weddings with every tenth latte sold or something.
Always A Bridesmaid
They say that a bride often chooses her bridesmaids’ gowns in the hopes that they’ll be unflattering enough that she’ll look better by ocmparison. Looking at these beige ensembles, it’s hard not to imagine that this is exactly what the bride had in mind when she forced her BFFs to wear them.
These women look practically nude in them. If it weren’t for the colorful flowers they’re wearing it would be one big flesh-colored photo… not exactly one for the wedding album.
The words I’m looking for aren’t necessary here, but I’m going to say a few anyway. Is it any wonder this pic totally fails? First, I’m shocked I didn’t notice the little girl because I thought she was a flower vase.
Second, I’m shocked that the bride isn’t holding the same flowers patterned after bridal group. How utterly rude trying to not blend in. Brides can be so selfish sometimes.
Latest Heart Video Shoot
I didn’t know the band Heart did weddings. That’s fantastic… What? That’s not them?? Oh. Those two on the ends really had me going, what with those extremely fake tiaras. I’m wondering when the “lick an electrical socket” hair-style came into popularity.
I must have missed that one. And why is it when I look at them I expect them to walk up to me and say something like “Welcome to Denny’s”?
Partridge Family Redux Wedding
I’ll get to the blushing bride in a minute. I’m a little busy trying to figure out what’s going on with the other outfits. Vest-dresses? For real? Maybe these are church ushers or something.
Maybe airline hostesses? I mean, they have the scarf tying down pat. Oh wait, just figured it out. Insurance agents. And I’m guessing the bride is/was a nurse of some kind during the Civil War? That’s it.
Look At Me! Wedding
Um, WTH? Most people just go to Sea World if they want to see the swimming critters. These people brought the water park to their wedding. Why do these type of women watch Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid over and over again anyway?
Is there gonna be synchronized swimming at the reception afterward? Just saying, because that would actually be kind of cool and make the whole thing work.
A Lovely Veil Pulls This Look Together
They say “the devil is in the details” and if that’s true, then this bride nailed her wedding attire. From the intricate lace of her dress to the understated bouquet to the demure veil topping off the bridal look, she paid attention to every last detail.
Wait. Is it just me or did she forget to close the top of her gown all the way? No, it can’t be. No one would overlook something that important on their wedding day. Carry on then.
It Wasn’t Me
Cute as this little tyke is, I don’t think he’ll have a successful career as ring bearer. Just look at him trying to put the blame on another guest for dropping the ring after he failed so miserably.
It’s truly shameless when you really think about it. Of course, he’ll blame it on drinking too many sugary sodas or something similar, staying in denial for the rest of his life.
Utter Perfection Fail
Bride — beautiful. Flower girls — stunning. Dresses — granny. I see where the bride was going with this theme, but her critical error was trying to please her great-grandmother at the wedding. She should have remembered that this is HER day, not Granny’s.
The bride still could’ve pulled it off had she chosen color-coordinated flowers for the girls. But alas, too much alcohol-laden punch the night before makes Jill opt for unusual choices.
That’s Not a Train, It’s My Honeymoon Tent
Yes, I know this article is about flower girls and anything but the bride, but I just had to comment on this wedding dress. I’m guessing it’s one of those multi-functional things that can double as a tent or parachute whilst on honeymoon. I suppose it could also be used as an emergency sail of a massive fishing net in a pinch.
The only lovely thing about this photo is the flower arrangement for the bride, and even that’s gotta be half a small tree she’s holding.
That’s Not The Toilet, Girls
The only thing I see here are a bunch of dressed-up people needing to take a leak. Badly. Why else would they hike up their ugly bridesmaid gowns, stand in the water, and be on the lookout for passersby?
Seriously, those dresses are pretty bad. And standing in the water for a wedding pic and not facing the camera — it’s just idiotic, I say. Who is the groom here, anyway? Aquaman??
No, These Aren’t My Drapes
I think all of these girls were treated to a champagne toast and got dressed before they knew what was happening. Hence the dazed and very confused expressions on all of their faces. Are those family-sized ice cream cones that are being used to hold the flowers?
Orange and pink do not a dress make. EVER!! And the poufy hair scarves on the top of their heads really need to go.
Lilac Can Kill
Girls (and guys), take a good look at this picture. Please do not be fooled by the bride into believing that you’ll look great dressed as a bottle of (very) cheap perfume.
I mean, did it really take that much of an effort to pull the sheets off of some beds at K-Mart? I doubt it. Oh, and I guess those are pillowcases for the hats too. Pretty clever, if you’re trying to stick to using sheets to make your outfits.
Why are these girls leaning one elbow on each other? I don’t get it. Do they think they are on the set of Cheers or something? And that shade of blue makes them look like Ice Capades Dancers. Or maybe a swim team from the 1976 Olympics.
Then again, I guess they all could have just finished their shifts at Sonic and headed straight over to the reception together afterward.
The Reynolds Wrap Wedding
Reynolds Wrap, toilet paper, and glitter. Let’s base a wedding look around those items and see how creative we can get! I’d almost understand if this were someplace in Greenland or the Arctic. Actually, I wouldn’t.
This simply has to be the result of eating way too many roasted marshmallows and downing more than your fair share of eggnog or whatever beverage caused this. The Jetsons wouldn’t even wear this three-dollar-a-roll tripe.
Count Chocula Wedding
A wedding based on a cereal box. That’s what I see and I’m calling it. Whoever thought up a wedding theme based on the same color as chocolate breakfast food needs to be drawn and quartered.
I wonder if this is how those accused of witchcraft in old Salem felt when forced to wear these things for their trials? Guess they didn’t care since they were pretty much doomed, much like the women in this pic probably feel.
Off With Her Head
Clearly, someone has watched Alice in Wonderland one too many times. But why base your entire themed wedding after it? I guess there just wasn’t enough of this bizarre velveteen material to go around, which explains the blue parrot-like outfit in the rear.
It might also be the reason for the Mad Hatter’s pink sun hat in the background. Queen of Hearts indeed… I’m not even sure she deserves the title.
Where’s The Color Control On This Thing?
Looking at this pic reminds me of a really old TV. As in, the kind in the wooden case that weighed 400 pounds and could only receive the Big Three networks. The color TV you couldn’t adjust properly — you could only get two or three colors to show up.
Maybe the dresses were designed by a relative who doesn’t see in color. But does it really matter? It’s simply atrocious.
Anyone Seen My Pepto?
I always thought that Pepto Bismol was to be taken internally. Guess I was wrong. I’m also wrong about who is supposed to be taking off that garter too. And I suppose I’m equally wrong to question why the little flower girl is hiking up the bride’s wedding dress.
I’m having a wrong sort of day. Maybe I’m just in a reflux nightmare of some kind. Now where’s my Pepto? I really need it.
Hurry Girls, To The Float!
Wait just a minute. I know these dresses. Now where did I see them? Oh yes. Macy’s. On a float. In the annual Thanksgiving Parade. Just look at the glum, totally despondent looks on the bridesmaids. I think they’ve done this a few hundred times.
Probably in not such seriously ugly garb, but still. The things they must have seen. The horrible dresses they must have worn. It makes me shiver.
When these lovely ladies somehow find time between house chores, hunting deer, and stripping squirrels and other roadkill for their fur, they get together to show off their true art: how to skin a couch and make wedding dresses out of it.
Oh, for the simpler times. On the bright side, at least the flowers all match. That’s more than we can say for a lot of homemade wedding ensembles.
Not Fooling Anyone
Is it me, or does no one in this picture look happy? Bright colors, garish makeup, diva attitudes, the works. Sorry. It’s not tricking us into thinking anyone in this photo wants to be there.
And where on earth would one find anything close to as ugly as these pink things? And don’t even get me started on the bridezilla; a split straight up the front of her dress? For real??
Never Too Much
Until now. Whoever came up with the idea of turning a white lattice fence into a fashionable hat should be tried for crimes against humanity. Just look at those poor shell-shocked women.
They all have that unmistakable “put me out of my misery” look in her eyes. The one on the right has the “I’m already dead, just leave me behind” stare that many people on The Twilight Zone sometimes have. Shiver.
A Wee Doggie
This is why you never, ever allow pets to a wedding. I wonder if the bride smelled like a pine tree or fire hydrant to make the dog do that on her dress?? Well, at least he didn’t need to do the other business. Who knows what might have happened then, LOL.
Look at the little girl on the right. She’s absolutely mortified. She will probably never buy a pet when she grows up.
S&H Green Stamps Revenge Wedding
I’ve never seen dresses the color of S&H Green Stamps before. Now I know why. Though I do have to give these ladies their props. They are all in uniform for a change. But I don’t understand the Greek goddess look of the wedding party because it goes totally against the romantic style of the bride’s wedding dress.
Maybe she should have dressed as Wonder Woman or even Xena the Warrior Princess.
Dynasty Meets Pink
The color pink certainly was a thing in the eighties. Lots of it, and the point seemed to be making it as garish as possible. And there’s not one genuine smile in the lot, not even the men.
But I guess if I were waiting for Alexis Carrington to suddenly waltz in just to kick my butt all up and down the aisle, I wouldn’t be smiling too much either.
Dawn Of Ugly Outfits
The song “Age of Aquarius” comes to mind when I see this pic. That and lots of illicit substances. What were these women thinking? The flowers they’re holding have better patterns than those dresses. But I guess when you are under the influence, anything looks beautiful.
The bride and groom probably got married next to their “Scooby Van” with droves of happy, happy people celebrating the happy nuptials. Oh to be a kid again.
I’m Late – Just Use The Curtains!
“I’m getting married in a hurry! Pa don’t know I’m pregnant yet. C’mon girls, help me out.” “Flowers? Check! Maid of Honor? Check. Dresses? Dresses? Wait a minute. Gertrude, give me those scissors and the curtains from the window.”
LOL, well at least that’s what I thought the situation was. I mean, really. Fail? Check. But you could also say this one is a win in some ways since they pulled it off in The Sound of Music!